20th October 2010
Actually I wish to write this for long time. But I’m kept delay to write it. Till now, it is time to think ,to overview what have I done this few week, and plan what im going to do in the next.
For what I have done this few week, actually after I got work, I have lost myself. After I have been work, I didn’t do anything what I have plan just b4 i work, I remember that b4 I work, I ask myself to work hard, to work for my own aim. My own desire. But after I have work, I failed to do all. This is bcos of I have lost myself. When im work I have been effect by other colleague, they kept tell me the company is bad, is blablabla….well for me , does that so important? No~~it was not. Im work for myself not company, company give me money, and I help them work, what they treat me is not important at all, but I need to request myself do the best. But I failed to do that. It my problem , I need to change it.
The other problem I have met is, in the beginning I live at my fren room, over there maybe not so comfortable for living and sleeping, bcos it is hot, without windows, but at there im got many fren , but least of private . now move to a new house, at here lack of internet, near fren there. Althoght after work I don’t have anything to do at home, but I got private . when I feel bored , I can go find my friend. So which is good? Not thing is perfect, unless pay more. So bad, im a ppl don’t k about money but I know im poor , cant spend money like that.
Well after this all, I would like to speak out my major problem. My life, nowadays actually I don’t know y the other wana ask me to believe jesus~~ ask me b fren with jesus, he will help u plan a wonder ful future. But y I should believe in him? I didn’t say he is bad, but the problem is. Believe him , and he will give u wonderful live, it is bcos after I believe him and than he begin got ability to give me a wonderful life? Or mean that u not believe in him, and he wont give u a wonderful live?
Im rather believe in buddha , because he didn’t request us to believe him, even don’t say he can help us. But say the ppl who can help ourself is our own , and advise us to do kind thing.well, that is more similar as what I think. I do the thing, and I take responsible with it. And follow as what I have kept training myself dazuo, I know that this world are not only us, also got some souls.
Well after write this all, actually I found that I didn’t suspicious about religion at all, thanks jesus, it was your fren who help me to made the decision. Actually I know that answer long time already, but haven’t confirm . now I can say that im at self trainer, I wish to open my life byself, although It may hard, maybe it not so good than what u plan, but I believe something is destiny.
For working, due to im still not very familiar with my responsibility, I cant say anything about it. But at least I need to request myself. Try to know more, it is impossible for me to love it now. Bcos I don’t know it, and don’t understand it. I need more time to understand it and know it. Does what other speaking so important to me? I would like to place a question mark over there.
Just like what I have train myself b4, don’t so doubt…just image what im going to do , what I am. Although it hard to image. But it a training, really need much time to rest and think it. Need to think about it.
Wish me to b more patient. Wish me to b much more hardworking.
It’s have long time didn’t try to use English to write blog, well im really found that im really have plenty place need to b improve. Well go ahead, 2day is present, appreciate it as last day of me. Who know next min I will still alive or not. B more happy, b more appreciate. B more honest.
Follow your heart, speak out what u r thinking ,image this is last day of your live. Don’t left any regret in the world.
